Dear lovely,
you're amazing. and perfect. in every way. you're such a great person. i love everythign about you. you make me feel amazing. you make me feel like i'm normal, like i'm not crazy, or insane, or self-destructive. you make me think something good about myself, sometimes. you'll never convince me of anything good about myself, though. keep trying though! i love it! you make me feel.. oh i don't even know how to describe it. i love you more than i've ever loved anyone else. you're absolutely perfect for me. we fit so well. we just do. and i'm sorry for hurting you. i don't ever want you to hurt. i want you to feel amazing all the time. i want you to see yourself through my eyes, you'd love yourself forever. you'd never doubt yourself again. you'd never feel inadequate, you'd never feel out of place. i don't wish you could see me through my eyes. you'd leave me instantly. you'd see what an amazing fool and stupid person i am. you'd never talk to me again. i'm so glad you can't see me through my eyes. but oh, if you saw yourself! it'd be wonderful! you would be so happy. all the time. and i want that for you. i want you to be happy. all the time. forever. and ever. even if it's without me. although i'd die inside if it was. I belong to you. i'm yours. totally and completely yours.
love,
yours.
this one i probably shouldn't post... but i'm going to anyway (:
dear liar,
you've changed. well i guess i have too, but you're now a liar. you tell me you still want to be friends, you tell me you want to make this work out. but you're a liar. you don't like me at all. you're still angry. or not, whatever. either you're still angry or you just hate me? whatever. i don't need you. but still. everytime you sign on i will try and talk to you. i'll check your profile. i'll click on anything with your name. and i don't know why. i have no idea why i'm still so attatched to you. you're not who you were. you're not MY (insert name here). and if you were, i don't know how i'd be able to get through this. you're not who you were. thank god for that. otherwise i'd still be swooning over you, watching your every move, hating her. i don't hate her though. even though you love her more than you loved me. i was your first love. no one can take that away from me. you can't ever forget me, because i was your first love. that's so terrible. i can't believe i'm happy about that. i hope you still hurt, even though you probably don't. i don't know why i want you to hurt, but i guess i'm malicious in that way. i could say "i never loved you" but you'd know that wasn't true. because i did. oh god did i love you. i don't anymore though. you're not mine. i don't want you. at all. i don't. even if i did it wouldn't matter. at all. you don't care. you don't. don't say you do. because that brings me back to the fact that you're a LIAR. and a fake. okay maybe not a fake. but you'll never read this so WHATEVER.
sincerely,
your first love.
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